Hey, gang! I was just sitting down to write today’s post, when I realized I’ve been running this blog for a FULL YEAR now! Woooo!

After all that time, surely I must have said everything there is to be said about self-responsibility and accountability. So, it’s time to retire the blog.

I hope you’ve had fun along the way, and learned some things too! I know I have! Now get out there and take charge of your life, the way I’ve taken charge of mine!

Thanks for reading.

There won’t be a post today, on account of I am too lazy to write one.

Sometimes things are simple like that.

I don’t think I’m going to be able to get a post out today. I’m trapped under a snowdrift. Look for one tomorrow!

Sorry, but I can’t get a post up today. I’ve decided to become a cyborg, which is keeping me pretty busy today. The good news is that I’ll be able to connect directly to the internet with my brain when I’m done, so new posts will be much easier to upload! Look for one tomorrow.

There’s not going to be a post today - I’ve been somehow trapped inside a videogame! I was gonna try to escape, but it turned out the game is a dating sim, so… I’m good.

I don’t really have time to get a post up today - SOMEBODY’s got to clean up this mess.

And, well, since I’m the one who made it, it seems only fair.

I’d love to get a post out today, but I’m afraid I’m just totally pooped. I’ve been up and down so many chimneys, and it seems like they’re harder to fit through every year. I do appreciate the snacks that some families provide, but of course that only goes so far.

Being an off-season chimney sweep is the worst.

Sorry, I don’t think I can get a post up today - I’m in a huge hurry. I just found out about this whole “Christmas” thing, and apparently I have a TON of shopping to do and not a lot of time to do it. Gotta go!

I’m not sure I can morally justify putting up a post today. I just found out that Hitler was a blogger. I’m gonna have to think through the ramifications here. I should have it all figured out by tomorrow, so look for a post then!

I was gonna write a post for today, but… I’ve just gone on break for the holidays and I am pretty much checked out. I’ll get back to you after some R&R.

Don’t think I’ll be able to get a post up today - I’m lobbying Congress to get a bill passed.

Hey, sorry, but I’m too busy for a post today. I’m studying all the religions so I can figure out which one is right.

So, it looks like I may have been wrong on the whole “sun exploding” thing. Kinda lost a bet there. In hindsight, the whole thing is pretty embarrassing, so I think I’m gonna skip today’s post and lay low for a bit - it’s hard to show my face (well, text) in public right now.

It’s hard to muster up the wherewithal to write a post today, I have to admit, what with the sun exploding and everything. I guess the end of the world just brings out a sort of creative ennui in me.

I’m afraid I’m rather too busy for a post today - I’m constructing a shrine to my greatness, that all might know my glory.

I’m not going to be able to get a post up today, I’m afraid - I’m living in exile. Look for one tomorrow!

I bought a planet, and I’ve been busy terraforming it so it’s livable. That’s taken up pretty much all of my time today. So look for a post tomorrow, from my fancy new pad, Planet Danet!

Planet Dan-It?

I haven’t quite figured out the spelling, but say it so it rhymes and you’re fine.

Sorry, there won’t be a post today. I’m busy learning all the Eskimo words for snow.

Too busy to get a post out today, I’m afraid - I’m inventing a new language designed specifically for blogging. This will make it far more efficient for me to get future posts out, so look for five new ones tomorrow!

Sorry, but there isn’t time to get a post out today. I was stuck for most of the day in a corn maze. I don’t think they appreciated my joke about how they should call it a corn maize. But come on, I don’t see how you let an opportunity like that pass you by.

I had a post for today, but it was adapted to a film that lost all the nuance and depth. Plus they shoehorned in a really annoying comic relief sidekick character.

I had a post all ready to go today, but then I accidentally hit “Cancel” instead of “Submit” and lost the whole thing. Why do they even have that button?

Hey, sorry, I don’t think I can get a post out today. I fell into this giant whirlpool, and now I’m just going around and around. Good thing I had my inner tube with me - it’s like a circular Lazy River! I’m just gonna lie back and enjoy the ride.

Too distracted to get a post out today, sorry - but it’s with important stuff! I just read online that RSS is dead, so I have to find a new way to distribute my writings to my subscribers. It’s a good thing I checked my feeds this morning, or I’d never have found out!

No time for a post today - I was at the aquarium earlier and I completely lost track of time. So many amazing fishes! It’s impossible not to come up with names for all the sushi rolls you could make with them. My best was probably the Electric Cowabunga Roll.

There won’t be a post today. I’m busy wasting my life away. Look for one tomorrow!

Hey, sorry, I don’t have time to put a post out today. I’m preparing for my upcoming rap battle - don’t want to lose all my cred. Now, what rhymes with “troglodyte”?

I don’t know if I’m going to be able to tear myself away and get a post out today. I’m really close to beating the final boss! I can’t quit now.

I don’t think I can justify going home and writing a post today, economically speaking. This cafe offers free refills on coffee. Clearly I have to maximize return on my investment.

I’m writing this post from the past. I’ve been sent back in time to set right what once went wrong - the accidental murder of my grandfather from the last time I traveled back in time. Jeez. It’s like you can’t take five steps in the past without killing your grandfather. I’m being extra careful this time, so that’s taking most of my attention just now - I can’t really spare the time to get a post together today.

Look for a new post tomorrow! Or, if I fail my mission, look for the blog to suddenly never have existed. Though I guess I don’t know why you’d be looking, in that case. Well, whatever.

Hey, I’m a bit busy for a post just now. Apparently ratings were low or something and I now have to deal with an obligatory romantic subplot that doesn’t advance the narrative or character development at all and really just pads out the runtime. Don’t worry; it’ll be over soon enough and we can get back to the action.

Sorry, but I don’t think I can get a post up today - I set up voice control for my blogging software, and now I have to calibrate it for my particular timbre and inflections. You would not believe how many red squiggly underlines the text had when I tried to use it without calibration - it made me want spaghetti.

I’ve had some spaghetti now, so I’m ready to calibrate the software - all I have to do is read The Great Gatsby to it in a natural speaking voice. Thankfully, the book was included in the package, along with a bottle of water. They think of everything!

Can’t get a post out today - I’m trapped in my favorite TV show! Help!

Oh, wait, no, I just got here early for a taping and fell asleep. Shh, they’re about to start! I can’t wait to see what that guy’s old flowerpot is worth.

No time for a post today - I’m doing research for my novel. Gotta get those details accurate! Can’t have people being broken out of the immersion of the narrative by descriptions of orange traffic lights and things like that - no matter how much better of a system that would be, and how obvious that fact might be to anyone who spends a moment thinking about it, and how obnoxiously stubborn and close-minded the city council was when presented with the proposal.

Also, I spent a lot of time today in line at the city council building, so that’s cut into blogging time as well.

Hey there, true believers. Unfortunately I’m just a skosh too busy to get a post up today. No big deal - I’m just over here fighting the temptation to give in to my superpowered evil side. Battlefield of the mind, enemy within, and all that. Cheerio!

Hey, loyal readers. Sorry to leave you hanging, but I’m not going to be putting up a post today. I’m working on a new project: a love song with rhymes for every possible name. This way I’ll be prepared if I happen to be walking somewhere with my guitar and find a beautiful woman wearing a nametag, no matter what it says!

Sorry, I can’t get a post out today. I’m stuck on the highway - not in traffic, exactly, though. I’m surrounded on all sides by accidents. I’m in the eye of the car storm. I won’t be able to go anywhere until some of them get cleared up.

dn’t thnk cn gt pst t tdy. Smhw, hv bn dsmvwld.

I’m a bit busy to get a post out today - I have to figure out what to do with all these leftovers. It’s like playing Turkey Tetris in the fridge.

Don’t think I can get to a post today, I’m afraid - I’m compiling a list of things I’m thankful for. It’s getting pretty long! But it’s important to do this right. It’s not just M&Ms I’m thankful for; it’s red M&Ms, green M&Ms, brown M&Ms… the list goes on.

I am way too groggy to write a post right now. I am useless without my coffee. And I’m all out of coffee. I’m just going to put my head down on my desk and see what happens.

I can’t get a post out today; sorry. I put my writing ability in the cloud, and my internet connection has gone down. I knew I should have kept a local copy too!

I don’t think I can get a post out today - I have an awful case of the hiccups. I can barely get through a sentence! They should clear up by tomorrow, so look for a post then.

Sorry, but I don’t dare put a post up today. I’ve been placed under a gypsy curse, such that a terrible fate will befall me if I blog on this day. Look for a post tomorrow! Assuming I don’t accidentally cut off another gypsy in traffic before then.

I don’t have time to put a post together today - I’m mounting a comeback. Look for a post tomorrow! Possibly including the sentence, “I’m back, baby!”

Remember when people said “baby” for emphasis instead of “bitch”? So much nicer. I’m gonna mount that a comeback too.

Hey, I don’t have time for a post today. I’m working on something much more important - the exact wording I will use for my three wishes if I ever find a genie. Gotta get these things right, or an ironic fate awaits us all!

I don’t have time to get a post up today - I’m busy working off some bad karma.

I wanted to get a post out today, but I’m a total perfectionist so it has to be juuuust right. I don’t think I’ll be happy with it without spending some more time polishing it, so look for it tomorrow!

Hey, sorry but I’m not going to be able to get a post out today. I am composed entirely of burlap and sauerkraut.

I don’t think I’m going to be able to get a post out today. I was watching Star Trek and got really engrossed and lost track of time. Look for a new post tomorrow!