I have a post for today, but I picked the super-saver shipping option, so it hasn’t arrived yet.

I was gonna write a post today, but… I don’t know. I’ve had this blog for kind of a long time now. I’ve made a lot of posts. This is starting to get pretty serious. I don’t know if I’m looking for that kind of commitment right now. I mean, it’s not you. You’re great. It’s me. I just… maybe it’s time for me to post in other blogs, you know?

As I was approaching my desk to write a post for today, I fell afoul of the trap door I’d installed to prevent people from messing with my computer. Took me hours to get out of the oubliette.

Sorry, no time for a post today. I’ve been working on the railroad, for basically all the live-long day.

Don’t really have time for a post today. I’m on a journey to find myself. I checked behind the couch first thing, but no luck.

I’m too scared to put something out today. I found out that THERE’S A MONSTER AT THE END OF THIS BLOG POST!

I’m too busy for a post today. I’m trying on wigs.

I’m not going bald or anything; I just wanted to see what I look like with different kinds of hair. “Know thyself”, I figured.

Sorry, can’t get a post out today. I’m busy confronting my own mortality. Look for a post tomorrow! I’ll still be mortal, but I’ll be cool with it by then.

Hey, I’m a bit busy to put a post out today. I realized just how vulnerable I am, so I’m taking a self-defense class. Wouldn’t want to fall victim to a terrible attack and leave you without a blogger, after all!

Too busy for a post today - I’m remixing my theme song. Look for a post tomorrow!

Unfortunately, after yesterday’s workout, I can barely manage to lift my arms to the keyboard. I’ll have to pass on the post today. Look for one tomorrow!

I was sitting down to write a post today, but then I took one look at my flabby arms and decided it was time to hit the gym. Look for a post tomorrow, when I’ll be ripped and buff and cut!

No time for a post today - I’m going through all my receipts and processing my expenses for the year to date.

Sorry, but I’m too busy for a post today. I’m building a 1:1 scale Galactus costume for the upcoming con. Cosplay is time-consuming!

Can’t really write a post today - I’m on hold with Customer Support, and they could come back at any minute.

Hey, too busy for a post today. I’m on a vision quest in the woods, hoping to meet up with my spirit animal. I probably shouldn’t even have brought my laptop!

I don’t have time for a post today. I actually don’t have any time today, at all - I accidentally spilled my jar of antitime.

Sorry, can’t get a post up today - I have to prove my courage.

In today’s post, we’ll be discussing the “locus of control.” This is a concept that

The system is going down for reboot NOW!
INIT: Switching to runlevel: 6
INIT: Sending processes the TERM signal
Terminated
INIT: Sending processes the KILL signal
Unmounting all file systems...
umount: rwfs busy - remounted read-only
umount: rwfs busy - remounted read-only
Rebooting...

I was about to write a post, but the pilot passed out and I’m the only one who can land this plane. I thought about doing both - I’m a great multitasker - but the flight attendants took away my laptop.

There won’t be a post today, I’m afraid - it’s been rained out.

I’m taking a serious risk even writing this, but I figured I should tell you that I’m not going to be able to get a post up today. I’m playing an intense game of Assassins, and I need to avoid all my usual haunts, including my computer desk. In fact, I think I see somebody right n

Unfortunately, I’m not going to be able to get a post out today. I accidentally opened a tube of Pringles and, well, once you pop, you can’t stop.

No time for a post today - gotta help my buddy move apartments.

Those things are heavy.

Don’t think I can get a post out today. My computer caught a virus, so I don’t want to push it too hard right now. I’ve wrapped it in blankets and poured cough syrup into the USB ports. Here’s hoping for a swift recovery!

Too busy for a post today, I’m afraid - I’m juggling my credit card debt.

I don’t think I’m going to be able to get a post out today - I’m lost in the mists of time. Look for a post tomorrow. Or maybe yesterday. I dunno. It’s really misty here.

Sorry, no time for a post today. I’ve been challenged to an honor duel out in the orchard among the cherry blossoms.

Hey, I don’t have time for a post today. I’m running with the bulls.

Sorry, but – WHAT? I can’t get – WHAT DID YOU SAY? – a post out today. WHERE? I stood a bit too close – WHAT? WHO? – to some fireworks yesterday, and – QUARTER TO FOUR! – I can’t hear a thing. NO, I DON’T HAVE A DIME! WHO?

I don’t have time to get a post out today, sadly. My heap allocation was set incorrectly and I’m stuck in garbage collection.

Sorry, can’t get a post out today - busy achieving enlightenment.

Hey, I don’t have time for a post today - I’m busy putting together a dance routine so I can win the big competition and save the youth center.

I heard there’s a special elevator downtown where if you press the right combination of buttons, it takes you to a secret underground floor filled with balloons and candy. I spent all day trying to find it, but the only unusual floors I found were filled with janitorial supplies. Anyway, that’s why there’s no post today.

I was teaching myself yoga earlier and I got stuck in the lotus position. I had to lotus my way around for hours and my legs fell alseep. I couldn’t reach my keyboard, so I wasn’t able to get a post ready. I’ve disentangled myself, so look for a post tomorrow! By then I should be done with the friggin' mother of all pins-and-needles.

Due to what I am assured is “an hilarious misunderstanding” I was accidentally involved in a bizarre wedding ceremony this morning and wound up legally wedded to a family of badgers. It took forever to find a clerk with the correct authority to annul the arrangement. So, I don’t have time to get a post up today. Look for one tomorrow!

Whew, what a day. I really don’t have time to put a post up after all that craziness. See, I was working for this sorcerer guy, and when he stepped out for a smoke I borrowed his hat because my scalp was chilly. Anyway, I did some totally reasonable things that anyone in my situation would have done, and somehow at the end of it I had an exponentially-growing population of… let’s call them “co-apprentices”. I really think I had things under control, but then the sorcerer guy came back and cleaned things up. He was… not pleased. It can’t happen again, because I sorta got fired, so look for a post tomorrow!

I was on my way home today when I got turned around and after a while found myself in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike. Took me forever to find my way out (and I think I may have killed a dragon along the way), so I don’t have time to put a post together today. Look for one tomorrow!

I can’t get a post up today - no time. I was in a bank heist earlier and in all the confusion and excitement, I accidentally sealed myself in the vault. The cops got me out eventually. So embarrassing!

I’m afraid there won’t be a post today. I’ve managed to fall past the event horizon of a black hole, so although I could write a post it could never make it to the internet.

This post has been formatted to fit this screen, to run in the time allotted, and edited for content.

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POST CANCELED DUE TO INCREMENT WEATHER (IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE, A LITTLE BIT AT A TIME)

POST CANCELED DUE TO INCLEMENT WEATHER

Hey, I can’t get a post up today. I’ve been visited by the Ghosts of Blog Posts Past, Present, and Future, and now I have to run through the streets and spread the spirit of blog posts amongst the townspeople.

I’m too busy for a post today. The monkeys have made me their king. There is SO MUCH paperwork to do, and all they have to write with is bananas.

I was going to write a post for today, but I was betrayed at the last minute.

There isn’t going to be a post today - I’m busy learning to play the concertina.

Don’t really have time for a post today. All of my friends simultaneously called in all of the favors I owe them, and I have a lot of dry-cleaning to pick up, couches to move, and cars to wash.

.sdrawkcab si draobyek yM .yodat tsop t’nac I