Hey, I can’t get a post out today. I was bitten by a vampire and had only a few hours to find and kill the head vampire before the curse would be irreversible. Vampires are really hard to find and I got sleepy, so I told myself that chicks dig the whole Twilight thing and took a nap. When I woke up I realized the whole vampire thing was a dream. I mean, come on, vampires? Those aren’t real.

I have had this oddly-insatiable urge for Hawaiian Punch ever since, though.